The other night we watched the documentary the Business of Being Born. I’ve been meaning to watch it forever and just never remember to. It basically chronicles the history of labor and delivery in the US and examines some of the differences between hospital and natural births. It confirmed our desire to use a midwife/birth center and one of the over all themes is empowering women to not be afraid of birth.
One of the bests parts of the movie was watching it with your daddy. The first time they started to show a home birth he looked at me very wide eyed like he couldn’t really believe it. After that every time they showed a woman in labor he would start to squirm and reach for my hand or leg but was totally in awe. Every time a woman would push the baby out your daddy would hold his breath and then start to laugh. It was an adorable “holy cow can you believe that just happened” laugh. The few times they showed hospital births and baby was quickly taken over to be examined and cleaned off he would say, “Why is no one touching the baby? Somebody hold that baby!”
I’ve always known that your daddy is “good” with kids. They love him. But I fall in love with him more every day as his sweet daddy heart shines through more and more.
We laugh a lot at our house. Your daddy laughs whenever I tell him about how much you’re squirming around or when he can feel you punch him through my tummy. We talk about how we think the best way we can handle the changes coming our way, the sleepless nights, and all the ways we’re going to feel like we don’t know what to do…is with humor. You’re probably used to the sound by now, but if not you will be. And maybe we can teach you that it’s okay to laugh at yourself, and when you’re frustrated and it is especially okay to laugh when you don’t know what else to do.
Your daddy was feeling pensive last night and decided to write down some of his thoughts. He’s not usually so serious but his daddy heart was working overtime. This is what he had to say…
We went golfing today. It made me think about how fatherhood will change our lives. All the time spent caring for a little one is going to leave a lot less time for other things. Like golfing. Not that I’m any good and not that we go often at all, but I’m guessing it won’t be real high on the list of important things to do. And I don’t want to think about budgeting time. It’s stressful. There aren’t enough hours in the day already. There is one thing I do know, and that is that I have to spend time with our daughter. It is high on the list of important things to do. But I’m worried about not getting enough family time in and that makes things we do for entertainment seem less important. I told Kalene that the family that golfs together stays together. Don’t think she bought it. She did have fun though and maybe Emmy could ride along in the golf cart with momma.
I am so looking forward to doing things with my daughter and teaching her things and just spending time with her.
And I don’t have time to figure everything out that I need to before she comes so I’m going to need a little (meaning a lot) of grace and I hope Kalene is up for it. Because when the time comes and and I change the diaper at 2 in the morning I know it won’t be easy. And can wash that load of laundry? And the dishes? And it’s just another day in paradise. I’m usually pretty patient. I’m also selfish. And when the patience is worn to a thread and the selfishness is saying I deserve a break and I’m at the end of my rope? That’s when I need grace. And I pray for the strength to make it through and somehow still manage to show love to my family.
I can’t wait until you and daddy get to meet (well, I can wait a few more weeks…keep cooking). I know he’s going to laugh (and probably cry) and make sure no one puts you down for the first couple of hours you’re out here. I couldn’t ask for a better guy to welcome you with!